Miorry Nobitto

Well, we’re getting close to the end of the Worst of the Decade list. With the next, the films on that list will be some of the worst movies ever created from the 2000s in my opinion. I have to say that I’m really enjoying ripping into these terrible movies. It is like getting revenge on these movies. Let us begin again.

Even Jerry O'Connell can’t believe he’s in this movie.

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Tomcats: Here is another American Pie knock-off that came out of during the early 2000s. Hell, they even have Shannon Elizabeth in the damn movie too to fill out the American Pie connection. There really isn’t anything that laugh-out loud funny about this so-called comedy. It has a lot of gross out humor, but it seems tacked on because of American Pie. American Pie was a good movie, but it seemed spawn poor clones that came across more sad than funny. Plus, why promise Shannon Elizabeth in the movie without her bearing it all like AP?

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Code Name: The Cleaner

Cedric the Entertainer: “Hey, you! Don’t watch this movie or we’ll shoot you.”

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Code Name: The Cleaner: You would think with Lucy Liu and Nicollette Sheridan would at least be entertaining on a basic level. Sadly, it fails. Cedric the Entertainer and Lucy Liu have no chemistry together, and they almost look like they hate each other. We all know how well Lucy Liu gets along with comedians...like Bill Murray. Code Name: The Crapper.

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The Adventures of Pluto Nash

This picture sums up everything wrong with MIB2. 1. There is a Burger King inside MIB headquarters, and it is promptly shown throughout the movie. 2. Lara Flynn Boyle and her big head and ghostly skin. 3. Johnny Knoxville, there are two of them.

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Men in Black II: This film wasn’t exactly the worst film ever made, but it is one of the biggest movies to have hundreds of endorsement tie-ins. And, then there is the amount of on-screen advertising too. Barry Sonnenfeld should have known better than embarking on the major budgeted movie. The script has to work and the ad tie-ins don’t matter in the end. It does feel like the studio and actors just ran all over him and made this a complete mess. Lara Flynn Boyle looks like the walking dead and is way too skinny. I’m sorry, but Rosario Dawson is way hotter than you. Why was Johnny Knoxville in the movie?

Mark Wahlberg: “Call me Marky-Mark one more time. I double dog dare you.”

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Max Payne: Marky-Mark, there aren’t any “Good Vibrations” in this bad videogame movie. At a certain point, the movie almost becomes un-viewable when the CGI Angels and Demons take over in last half of the movie. Just because something works as videogame doesn’t mean it will work as movie. When will they learn this?

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Son of the Mask

Whoa, someone stop the damn Mask from eating the title of the movie. On second thought, let him.

Who has a better career right now? “Every thug needs a lady.”

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Half Past Dead (2002): Steven Seagal pretty much ended his in-theater movie career after this movie. Seagal was doomed to direct to DVD after this. Half Past Dead is the poor-man’s The Rock. I mean it is same damn movie and they even set it on Alcatraz just like The Rock. Ja-Rule is a flaming turd too. Seagal looks extremely bloated and tired and so is this movie.

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Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd

Jim (clone): “Now where did that movie script go?”

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Monkeybone: “So that was The Mummy 3?”

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Monkeybone: When you name a damn movie “Monkey Bone”, you’re just asking for failure. Putting the stupid name aside, this Tim Burton want to be movie isn’t as fun or interesting as some other films in director Henry Selick’s body of work. The director has done some interesting films; it is too bad this isn’t one of them. Did I mention that Harry Jay Knowles has an unwanted cameo? So it looks and smells like a Tim Burton film, but it isn’t one. I don’t even want to fathom what exactly is a “Monkey Bone”.

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Pearl Harbor: Slow and ponderous for one hour and then turns into The Rock in the last half of the film. You can’t have both Ben Affleck and Josh Hartnett star in your movie without it sucking. At the time, Affleck and Hartnett both were just blocks of wood that sucked the life out of movies like talent vampires. Cuba Gooding Jr. is overlooked here. I have no idea why Michael Bay felt the need to force a poorly conceived love story into a movie that should have been just about Pearl Harbor. The Attack on Pearl Harbor and the Doolittle raids should have been the only focus of this movie, yet someone wanted the two blocks of wood to fight over a chick. If I wanted to see that, I’d just turn on a VH1 or MTV reality show for that. This movie is merely on the list because of the poor creative choices.