Miorry Nobitto

First of all, the outfit is a total fail. Tryin' to look hot but not even comin' close to pullin' it off. This might be the clumsiest sexy-doll get-up I've ever seen. Second of all, that voice sounds like some off-pitch drunken hooker tryin' to sing karaoke after a night of whiskey and cigarettes.

But ya know what? It's okay, because as Miley keeps on livin' her little rockstar life, the costumes are gonna get skimpier, the offstage shenanigans are gonna get dirtier and the Speakeasy is gonna have some pure gold to post right here. So keep on chooglin' hotstuff - we'll be here to document every glorious moment of the crash.

Hip-hip-hooray for this YouTuber! Well done, my little video editor. This barely-legal fame-whore has about run her course, right? I mean, below-average looks, voice like a pack-a-day smoker and now the dance moves from Planet Sucky? It's time to expose this no-talent daughter of a no-talent father. But guess what? As soon as the naked Miley photos hit the inter-webber-blogger-nets, rest assured we'll have 'em here faster than you can say "Hey, her body sucks, too!" That's just how we roll.

PS - I think I just set a record for most hyphens in a post. Glad you could share it with me.

Okay, I've had just about enough of this fame-whore.  Career sucks, voice sucks, not that hot lookin', gotta keep tweetin' to keep the buzz alive, show sucks, songs suck, Dad's a one-hit wonder, future looks bleak, time to hit the salvia again, go make out with some old dude, star in shitty movies, make another shitty album, shop with Mom, get career advice from Lindsay Lohan, tweet and tweet some more.  Rinse.  Repeat.  Get the fuck outta here!

This chick is gonna be tabloid gold for years to come.  She quit Twitter once before but just couldn't stay away.  But you just know that celebs like Miley just have to self-promote and keep pushin' the envelope.  Pretty soon it'll be partially nude and a few teeny weeny bikini pics.  Then, as the career begins to nosedive, is there any doubt that we'll start to see fully nude and then naked orgy photos?  She'll be doin' anything to stay in the public eye.  It's just how it goes.  I'm waiting with baited breath....

Miley Cyrus Sex Doll Flying Off Shelves

POPEATER - Can't be tamed is right! As if Miley Cyrus didn't have enough to worry about, now she's got a dirty doppelganger on the market. An inflatable Miley Cyrus sex doll named "Finally Mylie" from Pipedream Products has reportedly become such a hot ticket item that stores can't meet the demand. Pipedream Products' Kevin Johnson says of the doll, "We are completely sold out already -- it's been on the market for less than 48 hours." While the doll, which comes with "3 achey love holes," hasn't caused a legal battle yet, Pipedream is preparing for a backlash. "I have seen those [lawsuit] rumors circling online," says Johnson. "That probably means it will happen soon enough." Although being immortalized in latex probably isn't the legacy Cyrus intended on leaving behind, at least she's in good company: Beyonce, Kim Kardashian, Britney Spears, Lady Gaga, Jennifer Lopez, Sarah Jessica Parker, Lindsay Lohan, Christina Aguilera, Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson have all received the same treatment.

Do people actually screw these things? I gotta believe most people just collect them as a curiosity and hope to sell 'em as a collectible or on "Antiques Roadshow" right? Because if people are actually screwin' these things it seems pretty perverted. I mean, do they actually believe they're screwin' Miley for a few minutes? I know one thing though, if this doll comes with that grating, whiny, hoarse voice of hers I wouldn't touch it with your dick. Chick sounds like like fingernails on a chalkboard....

Don't mess with Miley's Moms. She's gonna protect her Moms. If you get near her Moms you're gonna pay. Cuz nobody almost bumps into Miley's Moms. Miley's got her Moms back. And her Moms front. And her Moms side. Moms.

First of all, alleged, alleged, alleged (Hey, I'm not getting boned up the corn-hole in a 9x9 cell for posting some underage, Twiggy-looking, anorexic daughter of a redneck one-hit wonder that I got no way of verifying, okay?).  Second of all, who gives a flying fuck?  Chick looks like Peppermint Patty, has a voice like a pack-a-day 60-year old and sings (?) songs that'll make you stomp your iPod to death for fuckin' up your ears for the rest of your life.  But, err, do ya think I still have a shot?  Cuz I kinda like the flannel shirt...

First of all, alleged, alleged, alleged (Hey, I'm not getting boned up the corn-hole in a 9x9 cell for posting some underage, Twiggy-looking, anorexic daughter of a redneck one-hit wonder that I got no way of verifying, okay?).  Second of all, who gives a flying fuck?  Chick looks like Peppermint Patty, has a voice like a pack-a-day 60-year old and sings (?) songs that'll make you stomp your iPod to death for fuckin' up your ears for the rest of your life.  But, err, do ya think I still have a shot?  Cuz I kinda like the flannel shirt...